What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
