If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
