We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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