i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
