is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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