Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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