You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
