he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
