I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
