16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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