dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
