My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
