we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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