Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
