Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
