You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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