i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
