Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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