I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
