in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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