it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Still dying that you shit outside
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
