I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize