i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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