two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
