I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
