My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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