Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
