You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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