I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
