Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize