The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize