Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
