I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
