My liver just broke up with me...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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