Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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