I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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