Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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