Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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