you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
