if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
