we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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