she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
