two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
