would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got her a Nickelback box set.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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