i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
