i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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