The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize