I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
