Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
