its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
