I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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