i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
