At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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