I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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