Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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