Got a toothbrush?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
