um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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