I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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