clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would ride that face into the sunset
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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