How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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