I wish you could order shots online.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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