There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
