I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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