Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
