Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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