I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
