Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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