The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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