and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
