Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
