btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
